Kaelyn woke with a start. She wasn’t supposed to have fallen asleep. She’d sat on the bed and leaned back, vowing she’d only close her eyes for a minute. And now something was wrong. She had no idea what, but something had woken her and every instinct she had screamed at her.
She grabbed her sword, fighting the dizziness of getting up too fast, and raced into the hall. Cat sprawled, a dark shadow on the wood floor, between her and Wyndham’s rooms. He looked at her, blinking his glowing green eyes, as if telling her that all of her rushing around was unbecoming. She strode past him and eased open Wyndham’s door. His lanky form was stretched out on the bed and his shock of blond hair was bright on the pillow, catching the little light from the candle sconce in the hall.
Her heart skipped a beat. There was something about him, something comfortable yet still edged with attraction. It was different from the desire Talar inspired and she couldn’t tell which had more appeal. She hadn’t had the courage to ask him more about their relationship since Mythnar, although she tried to convince herself it wasn’t a matter of courage, but timing. She had no right to ask about herself when so much more was happening. The kingdom was in danger and so were their lives. The thought of pressing him with questions about another life seemed petty in comparison.
She closed the door and leaned against the wall, determined to concentrate on the possibilities ahead of them. But she couldn’t drag her thoughts away from the sight of his hair catching even the most insignificant illumination.
They were in trouble if she couldn’t think past his hair. She was the warrior, this was her element, she was supposed to be planning or anticipating or something. But she doubted she’d ever learned strategies, even if she could remember them.
She let her gaze fall to Cat who was in the middle of a body-contorting stretch. He paused, one foot above his head, blinked, and rolled onto all fours. With another baleful look, he flicked his tail, and ran off down the hall.
“Hey, come back here. You’re not supposed to be doing that.”
Stop being such a good girl, he said. Can’t you feel that. Aren’t you curious?
Didn’t curiosity do something horrible to a cat?
He chuckled. It rippled through her mind, drawing gooseflesh. Satisfaction, my dear.
Get back here. She chased after him, although she had to acknowledge the ridiculousness of the situation. If he didn’t want to be found, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to find him.
She rushed deeper into the house. The hall seemed to go on forever, never turning, or ending, just extending into the forest behind it.
A shiver swept over her. It felt too much like their escape from Mythnar. A long tunnel with darkness pressing around her.
Then, ahead, something glimmered. She inched forward, her heart pounding. The light grew brighter, illuminating the end of the hall and a partially open door. Cat’s lithe form slipped into the room and she rushed to prevent whatever mischief he may have discovered.
The light flared bright, making her eyes water and forcing her to step back into the shadows. She pressed her forehead to the smoothed wood panels on the wall, squinting at her feet. Inside a fire crackled, parchments rustled, and a kettle hissed.
“Oh my,” said the old man within. “What have we got here?”
Now she really wanted to see into the room. He must have noticed Cat. Please don’t let him think she could have possibly controlled the animal from wandering around.
“Oh dear. Well. . . .”
Kaelyn strained to hear him. The fire snapped and she jumped.
“I think I can remedy that. Although it might be difficult.”
She shifted to the edge of the door and peered in, but it was still too bright and she couldn’t see anything but the light. Her eyes watered and she pulled back into the dim hall.
The man began a deep, guttural chant. She squirmed. She had to know what was going on in that room.
The chanting grew louder. It raced across her skin, making the hairs on her arms stand up. Her curiosity burned. She had to know.
She stepped full into the light, grabbing the doorframe to keep steady. The old man didn’t seem to notice her, but Cat pierced her with his green gaze.
He trembled and the fur on his body stood on end, puffing him up to twice his size. The old man chanted and hobbled around Cat, eyes closed, and face turned up to the ceiling.
Green light enveloped Cat, billowing in time with the old man’s words. Then it flared bright.
Kaelyn covered her eyes, tears rolling down her face. The man grew quiet and she slid her hand away, blinking her vision clear.
A man, a naked man, hunched on the floor where Cat had been.
He was young, of an age with her. Muscle rippled under pale flesh as he straightened and stood. He stretched, turning his back to her–his only indication he cared about his nudity–and reached up with delicate hands and lean arms.
Something about him seemed so familiar.
His body trembled and he grabbed the edge of table beside him to catch his balance, hanging his head. Copper ringlets veiled his face, catching the firelight, looking like tabby fur.
He glanced back at her, his gaze a piercing green, the pupils in his eyes ever-so-slightly elongated.
Her breath caught in her throat.
How can I thank you?
Cat’s voice echoed in her head, but somehow she knew the words weren’t directed at her.
“You’ve been in that shape a long time. I wasn’t sure it could be done,” said the old man, rummaging through a chest beside the fire.
Close to a year now.
Bitterness swept over her. She staggered out the door into the hall and leaned against the wall just beyond the crack of light from the room, peering in.
The old man pulled out a tattered beige robe and handed it to the young man. “Why?”
A punishment, and– the man cleared his throat. “And a mission. I was to keep watch over the girl in case she remembered.” He voice was weak, a gentle tenor. It sounded so familiar, but she couldn’t drag out the memory from behind the fog. But it was his words that stuck with her, making her cold. ‘In case she remembered’.
“Remembered?” The old man waved his question away. “Not important. Did your master know that keeping an animal shape for so long might mean you would lose your own form?”
The young man shrugged. “Probably. When I realized he wasn’t going to change me back I tried to pull away from his mental connection. But I was never a good wizard.”
Her mind whirled. She felt like her whole world was whirling. Cat wasn’t really Cat, but a man sent to keep an eye on her. No wonder her father’s men could always find her.
The old man harrumphed and motioned for the young man, Cat, to pass him a mug on the nearby table.
A shiver swept over her. She had no idea what to do. He hadn’t exactly lied to her, but he hadn’t told the truth either. Why would he bother saving her from starvation by bringing her food when his master kept trying to kill her? Of course, why keep a spy on her while trying to kill her? She just couldn’t make sense of it.
She didn’t know what to say or even think. And as ridiculous as it was to trust a cat, she had trusted him. Now it seemed her trust was misplaced, again.
I know. I’m sorry, he said in her head, his thoughts dark with regret and self-pity.
Kaelyn shifted from one foot to the other. The fire crackled and the old man slurped his tea, while the rain and hail skittered across the shutters and roof. She could sense Cat’s uncertainty. He didn’t know what he was going to do.
Her gut told her she had to leave him. He couldn’t be trusted. But could she? Did she have much choice?
Hot panic raced through her. You can’t leave me. You’re all I’ve got.
And all I got was a lie, she sent back, filling her thoughts with all the hurt from his and Aric’s betrayal.
Cat shrank back. I can’t go home.
Neither can I. So don’t try to sell me that story.
Grief washed over her. I was never supposed to return. Pleading edged his words, colored with a deep insecurity.
She ground her teeth. She was tired of her own bitterness imprisoned within her. Her precarious hold over her emotions, ignored only because of the necessity for survival, weakened. It bubbled within, threatening to crumble what little composure she had left.
Enough. No more. She shoved away from the wall and raced down the hall. She didn’t know what she was going to do, and she had no idea what she’d tell Wyndham.
She ran in the darkness, tears blinding her and teeth clenched tight until her jaw ached. The hall was straight with no turns. There was no fear of losing her way. And there, ahead and to her left, was a hint of light. The lit candle in the sconce beside her bedroom door. She rushed to it and stared into her room, holding the doorframe as if it could contain the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions within her. Over and over again she felt the man who was once Cat begging her for something she couldn’t give and couldn’t even recognize. All she wanted was to go to sleep and forget. To sleep the dreamless, numb sleep she’d slept at the Oracle’s temple. But she couldn’t bring herself to cross the threshold into her room. She couldn’t lie down and forget, there was just too much at stake.
She had to tell Wyndham.
She slipped into his room, eased to his bedside, and knelt. She had no idea what she would say. How could she share another of her sorrows, knowing the loss he already carried?
He stirred and opened his eyes. A hint of a smile pulled at his lips, but when she didn’t return it, a crease formed between his brows. He reached up, brushing her tear-dampened cheek with a gentle finger. She sniffed and rubbed the rest of her tears away with the back of her hand.
“What’s wrong?”
She swallowed at the lump in her throat. “There’s a–” Tears welled in her eyes and she fought them back. If she started crying now she be unable to stop them.
He caressed her shoulder, tracing a path down her arm to her hand. He wrapped his fingers about her palm and pressed it to his lips, holding her still. She hadn’t realized she was trembling. Their gazes locked and even in the darkness she was falling into a sea of blue. Soft, warm, blue.
With a gentle tug, he pulled her to bed and eased her down beside him. He wrapped his strong arms around her in a familiar embrace that make her heart ache even more.
He brushed his lips across her cheek.
Her eyes burned and she squeezed them shut.
“Tell me in the morning.”
